It will henceforth be known as a Swinson moment. Immersed in a world of weightier matters the Scottish Lib Dem MP was puzzled last week by the sight of men wearing kilts and Scotland football tops in Queen St station on the day of the home match against Holland.
Fatefully, she announced her bafflement on Twitter and was rapidly and robustly “put right”. Her crime - in the eyes of the Tartan Army – was to be unaware that the fate of the national team (and by weary extension the entire nation) hung on this final chance to qualify for the forthcoming World Cup.
The fitba-crazy were enraged but fitba-rationalists probably shrugged. After all, it’s hardly a political crime to miss one date in the seemingly endless process of football tournament qualification. What is astonishing however is Ms Swinson also managed to miss the preceding fortnight of breathless preparation reports on BBC Scotland, the front pages of every Scottish newspaper, the distracted air of most Scottish males and presumably the early bath requests of many party activists that day (unless the Lib Dems have somehow acquired herd immunity from Scotland’s National Fitba Fixation.)
Walking round in a bubble may be the only way to focus on the massive problems facing the country – but managing to remain in that bubble as a football-mad community goes into overdrive all around – especially peopled by folk as chatty, communicative and excitable as Glaswegians – almost beggars belief.
Three cheers for public transport – without her trip to Queen Street, this MP might still be none the wiser about the currents and pulses that sweep the lives of her constituents (voluntarily or otherwise.)
This weekend though, it appears the Scottish government also had a Swinson moment – defined henceforth as the act of deliberately revealing the unusual shape of one’s inner world to all and sundry.
“Government in talks over tax on cyclists,” proclaimed yesterday’s Scotland on Sunday. Reading online I thought the paper’s online staff must have mistakenly re-posted the April 1 2008 edition. Then conjectured this proposed policy must be the product of a brainstorming, mind-mapped, completely confidential Away Day mistakenly substituted for government policy. But no. The new draft Cycling Action Plan for Scotland asks, “Should all road users pay road tax? If so how much should it be for cyclists and how could it be enforced?”
I can only conclude that the approaching end of the silly season is producing a final rash of semi-detached observations from normally sentient sources.
Taxing cyclists is bonkers. Even though a cycle registration scheme was once proposed by he-who-got-away-with-everything Red Ken, this is the daftest tax-raising plan ever suggested.
It hardly deserves rebuttal –but since cycle-phobes must have the ear of government, and since some in the policy community clearly believe Blade Runner has become a core part of the Cycling Proficiency Test, perhaps some tedious realities need to be re-stated Forgive me if this sounds a teensy weensy bit blunt.
Most cyclists are also car owners, so we already pay road tax. Try to sting us twice and we’ll set aboot ye.
Most cyclists take their life in their hands by cycling on road margins. Try to make us pay for using these pitiful, pot-holed urban gutters, or cycle lanes that terminate after three metres in a phone-box, and we’ll paper over Holyrood with pictures of the worst excesses. I’m sure the standard of many road margins, collapsed manhole covers and recessed drains must contravene EU health and safety codes. And you’d better believe the cycling fraternity is sufficiently nit-picking to find them.
Scottish cyclists live in fear of just one thing. Not the probability of rain, the possibility of hills and the certainty of headwinds – but the experience of being carved out at a city junction by lorries and buses turning left. This is where cyclists get badly injured -- even killed -- and it’s why cyclists resort to pavements or the pedestrian crossing sequence to get out of the way first.
Statistics show more female than male cyclists are killed at road junctions – because women are more worried than men about disapproval and stand obediently with their bikes at the red light instead of taking common-sense, life-saving but rule-breaking action by cycling through.
In the end, unrealistic rules mean no-one in their right mind cycles. No parent in their right mind lets their children cycle (on roads). Off-road track-based cycling is booming, but the lack of cyclists on city roads increases the exposure of the few and encourages a downward spiral of use. And that in turn infuriates those able to be infuriated by pointless expenditure.
Why spend money on cycle-lanes when the ungrateful two-wheelers don’t even use them. And anyway who do “professional” cyclists think they are – lycra, googles, helmets, shorts in cold weather and brightly striped outfits – badges of a righteous, un-smiling, unyielding, elite whose bodies are clearly temples (in stark contrast to the secular bodies all around.)
A cheerier manner and less Flash Gordon gear on short trips would help cyclists look more like the pedestrians they’re cycling amongst and less like human versions of a speeding bullet. But all the toothy grinning in the world doesn’t alter the facts. Each cyclist gives road space and parking space back to car users, placing less weight on the road and NHS and negotiates hostility, danger and well-meaning but badly executed cycle lanes to get exercise, save petrol, avoid congestion, reduce costs and generally save the planet.
This is the future and far from taxing it away, the Scottish government could take a lead by changing the law so cyclists can carefully cycle through pedestrian sequences at traffic lights and carefully use pavements when roads are dangerously potholed or congested.
For the record:
There is no such thing as Road Tax.
Roads are paid for out of general taxation so any one who pays tax stumps up for their upkeep.
Vehicle Excise Duty is a licence to allow heavy machinery such as cars to use the highway. This tax is clearly totally inappropriate to cycles.
See:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Motoring/OwningAVehicle/HowToTaxYourVehicle/index.htm
It is a complete myth that cyclists do not pay for the roads (whether they own a car or not).
A most interesting and entertaining article with thought provoking observations and comments.
Posted by: Frances Chaloner | September 17, 2009 at 10:34 AM